Saturday, April 28, 2007
10:00 AM
WAKE ME UP AND GET ME HIGH
Caramel Venti Frappaccino, Vanilla Cafe Venti Frappaccino (hold the whipped cream), Venti White Chocolate Mocha...the list goes on and on. All I gotta say is, coffee rocks!!
If I had a Starbucks next door, I would go broke with the amount of trips per day I'd take. Starbucks is my coffee dealer.....I need coffee coursing through my veins in order to stay awake and productive.
I've gone as far as eating those candied coffee beans that you can buy. Yes, they are REAL coffee beans, and yes they put a sugar coating on them to make them tastier to chew. They even have chocolate-covered coffee beans for those looking for an even tastier caffeine fix.
Coffee Beans (google it since this link decided to stop working)
Of course, they say "one or two" is all you need to get hyped up, but I've been known to pop in 3-4. Yeah I love living on the edge. Doing that WITH a Venti Frappaccino in hand is probably even riskier. But who cares! At that point, I could sit wide-eyed and focused on even the most asinine meeting. My boss wants to read me the dictionary from A-Z....go for it!! I might even remember some new words.
Carlos wants to teach me the ins and outs of how Java works?.....by all means....lemme pop some Coffee Beans, take a large swig of my Venti Frapp. and he can even tell me the history of Java and I guarantee I'll be listening to every word. Don't mind the fact that I might try multi-tasking too. Cleaning the house, dancing, and listening to a Java lesson at the same time is NOT unheard of when you're more hyper than a 2 year old on speed. Damn kids....
Then of course, there's the mother load. The very thing that has kept college kids up studying for two days straight. The famous pills that truck drivers take to stay alert and awake during 16 hr cross-country hauls.....
Vivarin (google it since links hate me today)
I remember taking those large, un-coated, nasty tasting pills when I was in college. Talk about a caffeine headache!!! But at least it worked.
For the beginners, it's probably best to stick with Redbull and Vault. Things like that. You definitly don't want to start with two "kick-your-ass-to-the-moon" caffeine fixes like I can do. Like I said, Coffee Beans and Venti Frappaccino is my perfect mix, but not everyone can handle that.
If you're REALLY wimpy.....a can of Mountain Dew should be fine for you.
Either way, whatever you need to get up and stay up during a long, boring, and tedious day.....do it!
Starbucks is the best caffeine dealer around. They're on every corner and best of all, they have every style, flavor, and type of coffee you could wish for.
And damn me for not being in a Starbucks commercial....wait...I guess this entry sorta is!
Song Lyrics For Today:
Wake me up before you go-go Don't leave me hanging on like a yo-yoWake me up before you go-goI don't want to miss it when you hit that high
~Wham
Said By Nicole
Friday, April 27, 2007
1:09 PM
Kids SUCK....Pets ROCK!!!!
So I joined Blockbuster Online the other day. It's just like Netflix except it's cheaper AND you can return your vids to a local store instead of just placing the package in your mailbox.....
*scratches head about why someone would opt to drive ALL the way to the store to drop off vids when they can just place in their mail box....isn't the whole point of this online thing to be able to rent vids without leaving your property??*
The amount of money we were spending on movie theatre entertainment was shameful so it just made sense to scrap our movie theatre habit and do this thing for only $14.99 a month. Seriously, you can't beat that.
I really should be in a Blockbuster commercial at this point....
On To Other News....
I really need to lose weight. I know, that's the story of my life. But I've gained 10 pounds since I've been here and it's pissing me off. I've fallen right back into my eating junk food non-stop all day long phase. It's bullshit. I know I'm better than this.
I need to stay away from fast food, carbs (when I can), and do portion control. That also includes not eating all day long the minute I "think" I'm hungry.
This is when I say "Water is my friend". If I stayed on top of drinking my 8 glasses a day, I won't be as "hungry". Another cute trick is to drink a full glass of water before biting into your meal. That way, when you DO eat, you are already half full and won't be able to finish everything on your plate.
I bought some Low-Carb Diet multi-vitamins but since I haven't been sticking to that lifestyle so well, I don't think those vitamins are good for me.
I'm just glad I missed the Attack Of The Girl Scout Cookies that emerges out of the blue every year in every major city and town in the USA. It's like those girls hypnotize you and the next thing you know, you're ordering boxes of cookies from every Brownie and Girl Scout in the neighborhood. Bitches.......
At least the Boy Scouts just sell that flavored popcorn in tins...that is sooo easy to pass by. Especially since Wal Mart sells those same tins (even some much bigger) for a fraction of the price. GO WAL-MART!!!!!
Wow, I am very anti-kid today. Damn, snotty-nosed, brats......who needs em.......pffffft.
They're cute though....from a distance....and I mean FAR AWAY. I'm talking about seeing a cute kid in the back seat of a car passing me by at 70 mph.....kid sticks his little tongue out and I do the same. Kid laughs, I laugh too...and next thing I know, kid is in another lane about to turn off the Disney World exit.....that's when kids are at their cutest....
Well that and when they're asleep.
I prefer those fuzzy animals we call pets....anyday....at least they don't back talk...well...not really. I do remember those nights getting back talked by my cat but at least it's more bareable than a kid back talking.
Snuggles: *doing something he shouldn't at 2AM....*
Me: SNUGGLES STOP!!!
Snuggles: MEEEEOW
Me: SNUGGLES!!!
Snuggles: MEEEEEOW
Me: Stop back talking Snuggles!!
Snuggles: Meow
Me: OMG...STOP!!!
Snuggles: Meeeeeeow
Me: Fine....take the fucking last word you inconsiderate twearp of a cat!!
Snuggles: MEEEEEOW
These kinds of exchanges REALLY played out that way. I can't make this shit up. Either I was a fool for arguing with a CAT or that cat was fucking smart as hell....I can't decide.
Gawd I miss that fucking cat.............animals ROCK.
Said By Nicole
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
9:59 AM
V Stands For Vicodin, E Stands for Entertainment
My poor baby had to get a tooth removed yesterday. Of course, the dentist gave him anti-biotics and Vicodin (yoooohoooo!!!!).
And I will admit, I have never seen Carlos on meds before so this was a very entertaining time for me.
We got home and I researched Vicodin online. Yes, I have this obsession with knowing EVERYTHING there is to know about strong meds like that.
I read the label on the bottle and online and the heading that interests me are the "Side Effects" portion of the info.
Side effects
Side effects for Vicodin include an allergic reaction, weak breathing, seizures, clammy skin, severe weakness, dizziness, unconsciousness, yellowing of eyes or skin, unusual fatigue, bleeding, or bruising, constipation, dry mouth, nausea, vomiting, decreased appetite, muscle twitches, sweating, itching, tinnitus, hearing loss, decreased urination, and decreased sex drive. [4] Vicodin (in terms of hydrocodone) also has depressant effects on the central nervous system. [5] However, some of the less mundane effects can be desirable effects that are sought after by some. Those effects include euphoria and drowsiness, as well as slowing the pulse.[6] Vicodin has also been linked to causing stomach ulcers.
So we were armed with lots of important knowledge about his Vicodin. We headed out to pick up a milkshake (since he couldn't eat solid, hot, or spicy foods for 24 hrs....poor poor baby), and to go to the movies.
While out and about, the Vicodin kicked in....first he started babbling about "should I take the milkshake in Walmart with me?" since I had to go to an ATM in there. I sat in the car and said, "Are you seriously asking me that?" He got frustrated and said, "Yes! Should I take this in with me or leave it in the car?" I replied, "Ummmm we're only gonna be in there for less than 5 min so do what you want...I mean it's NOT a big deal." He sat there debating in his head as to whether to take the shake in with him. I got frustrated because he was taking FOREVER to make a decision and it REALLY wasn't a big deal.
After squabbling about it, he finally decided to take it in. Then he apologized saying one of the effects of the drug according to the label is "confusion" and yep....he was mightily confused and consumed with such a small decision. That made me smile and shake my head. But the day had just begun.......
Carlos is a true gentleman. He is always opening doors for me and actually gets a little annoyed when I open the door for him. That's one of the things I love about him. Who said chivalry is dead?
Walking back from Wal-Mart, he put the key in the passenger side door to let me in...but instead of turning the key he stood there and started scratching his ear. And scratched, and scratched...all while looking completely focused on the "task" at hand. Getting sick of waiting for him to finish, I turned the key and let myself in the car. He laughed and said, "Looks like I'm experiencing another side-effect of Vicodin; itching!"
I laughed so hard, I could barely breathe! And yes, itching is one of the side-effects.
As we drove off, we got to an intersection where the traffic was moving very slowly. Carlos blurts out, "Every one's driving like it's Wednesday!!" I got a look of confusion on my face, turned to Carlos and said, "Uhhhhh Wednesday??" He said, "Yeah...you know...". I then replied, "Ohhhhhh you mean SUNDAY drivers!!". Carlos smiled and said, "Uh yeah, that's what I meant...no idea where I got Wednesday from. Oh wait, that's MY Sunday." Carlos has Tues and Wed off from work so technically he's right. But damn! Then I said, "Yep Vicodin does cause 'confusion' for sure!"
I couldn't stop laughing at that all day. I would forget about the convo, then out of the blue remember it and start laughing again.
Of course, Carlos and I are soul mates so for some weird reason I started "feeling" the same effects even though I was NOT on meds. I felt REALLY laid back, I said a few things that made no sense at all once it escaped my lips and Carlos kept telling me "wow, you're just as confused as I am! Are you sure you didn't slip a Vicodin earlier?"
There was even a time when Carlos had to turn me around when I got all disoriented and forgot where the exit was in Wal Mart.
He offered me a Vicodin when I felt stressed about something, but all I could mutter was, "Are you kidding me? I've been feeling the effects of that med all day....I seriously don't need to take one."
Sorta like when some husbands get actual stomach pains while their wife is in labor. Or when a twin feels a sharp pain in her finger and finds out her twin living hundreds of miles away cut her finger while chopping carrots. It's a weird phenomenon, and I never thought I would experience something like that personally. It's cool though!
All I gotta say is...Vicodin rocks no matter how you take it! hehehe.
Of course, I have four teeth (Wisdom teeth) that need to be removed...this whole experience is making me less afraid to take the plunge after all these years. According to my dentist, those teeth should've been removed YEARS ago...but alas, I kept putting it off out of fear. The lure of Vicodin sure is making it seem more bearable....
Bring it on dentist!!! Bring it on!
Said By Nicole
Monday, April 23, 2007
9:55 AM No matter how parents choose to "herd" their brood....something needs to be done. If I see one more kid wandering around aimlessly looking for their irresponsible parent, I'm gonna scream. And yes, what they say is very true...."You do your BEST parenting before you become parents." *Orders a box of wireless kid leashes to prepare myself, just in case I actually become one of those crazy and frazzled aberrations we call "mothers", one day.*
LOST AND FOUND BOX: 1 Blond Male ToddlerTake some advice from someone who is NOT a parent...me. If you have a toddler who just learned how to walk, it's probably in your best interest and the interest of the little brat (said with love here), to make sure you keep a sharp eye on him/her when in a public place. Nothing is worse than seeing a 2 yr old waddle out into a crowded hallway of a mall from a luggage store while her parents are looking at suitcases together and ignoring the fact that they have a child. It's even more excruciating to see two very old women find the child and return her to the store where the parents look very suprised and understandbly upset. Now, let me re-interate....I am not a mother. I have never had to worry about looking after anyone but myself and my purse when I go out shopping. Oh and of course Carlos....I mean guys might tend to wander off if something catches their eye like video games, guitars, a gorgeous MILF...ok that last one is totally made up....but still. I would assume, if I was a mother, no matter how frazzled or busy I was, my child would NEVER be out of my sight. Looking at a suitcase is not worth losing my kid over. Seriously. I know I can have some fucked up priorities, like choosing to shave my pussy before washing my hair depending on how much time I have to get finished. But I would assume a child would be the #1 on my priority list.These days there is NO excuse to lose your kid. Not only do they have the old fashioned, but very embarrasing "child leashes".....
They also have the newer version of these things....electronic, invisible, kid leashes. If you're like me, you thought, "OMG they're shocking kids like they do poor dogs who have those shock-collars on!". But fear not people. Our society hasn't COMPLETELY lost it's mind....yet. These electronic ankle bracelets are more like what prisons use for house-arrest. The parent carries the transmitter around and anytime the child gets loose and runs for his/her life past the cutoff point, the bracelet emits a loud and very annoying alarm to let the parent and the world know that there is an escaped kid!!! "LOCK DOWN THE MALL...A VERY DANGEROUS AND ARMED-WITH-CANDY KID HAS ESCAPED!!!!" And seriously folks....I kid you not...(pun definitly intended).
Better safe than sorry!
Said By Nicole
Sunday, April 22, 2007
10:20 AM
Music Makes Me Fuck, Laugh, Cry, Smart
Talking to Carlos, I realized that many people equate songs, albums, and artists to a specific portion of their lives.
Remembering and cherishing the very album that help lead you through that dark, scary depression. Smiling and laughing at the songs which accompanied you and your close friends through countless nights of drinking, smoking, and just being young.
Crying while listening to the album that occured before you got help for your addiction, your depression, your rebellion at our world.
Grimising or even fondly remembering the artist that you and your ex used to dance to or enjoy listening to together.
Grimising even more listening to the "lovey-dovey" songs you dedicated to that person at one time.....
Music is life, so it's natural to have "soundtracks" to different parts of your life.
But it really hit me hard when I realized that I don't have these things. Music is such a big part of my life, it's like breathing to me. I cannot distinguish one breath from another. I cannot say, "This breath reminds me of my childhood, and that breath reminds me of the time I battled my personal demons head on."
Sure, there may be one or two songs that bring up memories. Like Coolio's "Fantastic Voyage", that brings up colorful memories of cruising with my friends as we talked about our inappropriately, older boyfriends who were waiting for us in the hotel room they rented for our shin-dig that night.
El Debarge's "Who's Johnny" which reminds me of my childhood. Reminds me of the Saturday mornings my dad used to take me and my brother to run household errands like shopping and cleaning the car while my mom stayed behind to clean the house.
Individual songs bring back floods of memories for me....but not whole albums....not particular artists.....and for some reason that bothers me.
I can't even tell you the names of albums from my favorite artists. I am so fucked up that the titles of songs is all I can blurt out.
Shit, even the song-that-defines-my-life, "Breath Me" by Sia is all I can tell you about that. I have NO idea what the album is called. That's fucked up...seriously.
But, like I said; music is breathing to me. I don't need whole albums to bring me through a hard time of my life. I don't need one artist to help me have the time of my life.
Gimme all the songs you got on that there MP3 player and let's ROCK!!!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I'm Like A Virgin when I feel Crazy For You.
I Was Hoping 27 Jennifers would visit Pensacola in their Freetime so that I can Get Together with you.
Life sucks sometimes so Breath Me and Like It Or Not, I'll Live To Tell.
Fucking In The Bushes like Animals is just as fun as getting Rope Burn on that Velvet Rope.
I'm Fortunate there's No More Drama. Actually, I can give you One Million Reasons why that makes me Feel Good Inc.
One More Addiction, Two Step, Tres, Four Years Old, Language Lessons (Five Words Or Less), Six Feet Under Theme.....
I Never Can Say Goodbye...but Let Me Go.
*takes a bow*
Said By Nicole
Saturday, April 21, 2007
5:06 PM
What's My Name, Bitch?!
Like my new layout for this blog? Huh? Do ya like it?
I got kinda tired of the user-NOT-friendly design I had on the last layout so I found this one and tweaked it a bit. (Still tweaking it but ya know...)
On to other news, my stepson just turned 6 and he said the cutest thing when Carlos was helping him create a character on Mortal Kombat.
Carlos: What do you want to name him?
Seth: I don't know.
Carlos: How about this? *He types out S E T H*
Me: Yeah! How about that? He's named Seth like you!
Seth: Noooooo!!! My name is copyrighted.
Okay, so that was the cutest thing on earth. And before you ask, NO he did not get the copy-right-your-name idea from me....though I will admit, Nicole is a pretty fucktastic name if ya ask me....
Yeah.....
Nicole™
It definitly has a beautiful ring to it.....
*End of conceit*
Said By Nicole
Friday, April 20, 2007
12:17 PM
DOWN WITH THE BEAST!!!!
I hate it when I wake up so tired and exhausted that I pray for death or even a coma. Then when I do manage to make it out of bed, I shuffle around half unconscious and the future of wide-awakeness seems like an impossible feat.
During these times, I imagine myself still being half asleep after a whole pot of coffee and several hours have past. It just doesn't seem natural that I would get out of this grogginess anytime soon.
Then I always get happily surprised when a cup of joe and an hour later, I am wide awake and ready to tackle the day.
I had one of those mornings today. I'm happy to report....I am fully awake, alert, and ready (but not so eager) to take on the long afternoon and night ahead of me.
I can't really go on without mentioning the elephant hanging over this blog. Yes, it is true. Yes, I did the unthinkable. Yes, I had a moment of insanity but that spontaneity took me to calmer waters and a more peaceful spot...
I DELETED MY MYSPACE.
While the action seemed rash and un-planned, I had actually tangoed with the idea a few times over the past few months. Myspace has turned into a cesspool of "Who's more popular?" and "How many passwords can I phish?". As well as the old classic, "Let's see how many girls I can hook up wit from Myspace...even if they are happily taken, so their page says."
It was fun keeping in touch with all of my friends; old and new. It was exciting to see people's Top List change based on their relationships and friendships with others. It was even better reading and filling out all the crazy quizzes (many of which were recycled countless times...I KNEW I answered question # 15 like a million other times in other quizzes!!!).
But.....all of my close friends and family know where to contact me outside of Myspace. I am reachable on my cell phone, email, YIM (when I remember to turn it on), and other not so mundane ways such as pole-vaulting yourself through my roof, or backing your truck into my living room window.....
Either way, being without a Myspace does not make me dead. Though, I'm sure there are millions of Myspace users who would say otherwise....
It just feels nice to be back in the world of sanity and peace....well...until I turn on CNN and get reminded of how insane our world is...with or without Myspace....damn cynicism!!!
Said By Nicole
Monday, April 9, 2007
10:55 AM
You pay your rent on time all the time. You've never been evicted or foreclosed on. As a matter of fact, you have PERFECT rental history. Every former landlord would praise you as, "A wonderful tenant who paid on time and was never a problem for me."
While you drown in debt, not paying some things in order to eat, paying other things late, or racking up more credit card debt, one thing was always constant. You ALWAYS paid your rent.
Your credit sucks due to all of your late or no payments on various credit cards, car notes, ect.
But your rent was paid on time every month.
Huge life changing things happen to you during this time (new baby, divorce, death in family, change of job or location, ect). This causes your credit to get even worse. Credit cards are now in collections, car payments are late every month, phones are being shut off then turned back on when you find the money to pay them. But........you continue to pay your rent on time EVERY month.
When you decide to move no one will rent to you. Why? Because your credit stinks....even though your RENTAL HISTORY is perfect.
Property managers refuse to let you rent even though you make MORE than enough to pay their over-priced rent and utilites. Your priority is "pay rent first, buy food, pay utilities and then whatever I have left can go to other bills like credit cards, ect". But these property managers still won't take that "risk" with you.
At this rate, we're gonna need perfect credit just to have a pizza delivered to our home.
Bad Person: Hi I would like to order a large pepperoni with extra cheese.
Pizza Place: Is this a delivery or pick-up?
Bad Person: A delivery please.
Pizza Place: Okay, I need your Social Security Number, full name, address, and phone # please.
Bad Person: Ummmm why do you need my ssn for a delivery???
Pizza Place: We need to do a credit check to make sure you're trustworthy before we send a driver out there. People with bad credit tend to either try ripping off our drivers or they full-out rob him....it's a scary world out there.
Bad Person: Grrrrr...okay here's my info.
Pizza Place: It'll just be a moment while I process your info.
*Hold music plays*
Pizza Place: Okay...ummm....well you weren't approved for a delivery but you can do a pick-up order.
Bad Person: Are you fucking kidding me??? I'm NOT going to rob the driver, I'm NOT going to rip him off. I am ordering a $12 dollar pizza and I have $100 in my fucking wallet and another $500 in my checking account......seriously....just send the fucking pizza.
Pizza Place: First of all, please calm down. Second of all, I don't make the rules. We cannot send a driver if you have bad credit. I'm sorry. Would you like to do a pick-up order?
Bad Person: Fuck this, I'm going to the liquor store.......*mumbles*
*Dial Tone*
Yep yep, that's about the size of it......welcome to 2007 where only perfect credit can get you a place to live, food to eat, and a blow job from an ugly crack-whore.....yeah I hear they check credit too now.....
Said By Nicole
Saturday, April 7, 2007
10:49 AM
OMG I need Xanax....
Life Score:
World and everyone in it: 100
Me: 0
Okay so that totally sounds mental...whatever.
Ode To Xanax
Oh how you make me feel lighter than air, and dumber than Jessica Simpson. Okay not dumb but numb...numb....that's the word.
Oh how you carried me through shitty ass days like this.
Xanax should be a name of a Greek god...
Xanax went into battle to fight the little demons that make our days hard and long. He wielded his big sword and cut the heads off of Dispair, Sadness, Insecurity, Depression, and Anxiety. All the demons who conquered our world and brought us to our knees.
Xanax won the battle and is winning the war.....
Oh Greek God Xanax.....rescue me!!!
Wow that was bad prose....all the great authors of the world would burn me at the stake....
Is that smoke I smell?
Said By Nicole
Monday, April 2, 2007
12:27 PM
For The Love Of Money And Boredom!!!!
What do you get when you have two old filthy rich men who are bored as shit and have access to national tv?
You get two filthy rich old men (Trump and McMahon)on national tv (WWE) making complete fools of themselves for the more intelligently inferior, easily-amused citizens...unlike myself.
I could only stomach the first 20 secs of this crap but, as far as I can tell, it looked like two ugly old men replaying their frat-boy days at Yale.....[insert groans and "ugh"s here.]
It's disturbing, ugly, and ridiculous....but for those that feel the need to see bored rich guys on tv, here ya go....
Trump and McMahon Bored As Shit
Happy viewing! hehehe
Said By Nicole
Sunday, April 1, 2007
2:46 PM
Linday Lohan Has A Fugly Pussy and Keira Knightley's Chin Has It's Own Dressing Room!!!
While reading my new favorite blog http://www.bestweekever.tv/ Best Week Ever Blog ....I stumbled upon a very real and disturbing fact about myself. Yes, BWE blog has helped me uncover a new piece of my personality that I didn't even know I had. All Hail to BWE!!!
But I degress.....
I was reading with glee, all of the witty prose about celebrities and their flaws (physical, mental, ect). Not really seeing it as "making fun of the nerdy kid at recess". More as, making fun of ridiculously rich and often young and beautiful celebrities.
Then it hit me as I was rolling with laughter about the post on Keira Knightley's chin......
I would fail as a celeb. I would be a bigger mental mess than I already am.....
Imagine for a minute thousands of people making fun of your chin, teeth, nose, smile, breast size (females here), ect.....
Talk about pressure to get in contact with Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon!!!
All I'm sayin' here is....aside from the money celebs get for their craft....I do NOT envy them.
Now, lemme get back to reading about Lindsay Lohan's ugly pussy....http://www.bestweekever.tv/bwe/images/2007/02/LOHANVAG24.JPG> They weren't kidding!
Said By Nicole
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