Thursday, June 28, 2007
3:31 PM
PILLOWS BEWARE....SERIAL ABUSER ON THE LOOSE!!!
Stress is so much that sometimes I feel like I wanna scream at the top of my lungs. I'm not really one to whine and moan in my blogs...okay...I just totally lied there. BUT, there has to be better ways to deal with stress besides threatening to feed myself to the nearest alligator. That joke really works well here in Florida...kinda bombed in other places I've lived (Kansas, New Jersey, England, ect).
Telling me to take a warm bath just leads me to think of ways to drown myself. And yes, I realize no one has actually succeeded in drowning themselves in a bathtub without the help of another person or medications (sleeping pills).
Advising me to take deep breaths and release them slowly brings to mind ideas of maybe holding my breath so long that I pass out just to be able to "sleep" through the stress and frustrations. Again, that wouldn't be smart if I'm standing up while doing this since I'm sure my head would crack on the edge of my desk or God Forbid, the tiled kitchen.
Those of you who feel I really need a vacation to get away from it all...ummm...have you seen my checking account?? Well in case you haven't had a chance to hack into it yet...I have just enough money for bills and no more. Explaining to my landlord and the electricity company that my sanity is more important than the money I owe them probably won't go over too well. At that point, a permanent trip to Mexico or Canada once they threaten to send Luigi the Knee Breaker to my home for owing them money, would be more along the lines of the only vacation I can get at this time.
So what's left....I could buy a stress ball and squeeze the hell out of it until my fingers bleed, but that would only help for cruical moments. Besides, I've lost so many of those over the years, it's more stress trying to find the damned thing everyday.
My tried and true plan of burying my head into a pillow and screaming until my vocal cords get hoarse isn't realistic when I have a 6 year old living here who already thinks I'm off my rocker. Don't want the poor kid to have nightmares of seeing me screaming bloody murder into a poor, innocent pillow.
The same goes for my favorite stress-buster of punching same pillow between bouts of screaming into it. I swear, if there was a law against abusing a pillow, I would be getting arrested every few weeks. I bet my mug shot would look pretty scary too. Hair all sticking out to and fro, dried tears streaking my cheeks, lips puffing from burying my face hard into the pillow, fists pink from all the punching, and worse yet, the anger in my face because once again that damned pillow made it to the phone before I was able to pull it back for more beatings.
Either way, abusing my pillow is not something I can do now either. Not that I'm afraid of being arrested for domestic pillow violence.....
Guess that leaves me with one last thing....bitching, moaning, complaining, and ranting on this blog. If I can't do it here...where can I? *eyes my cell phone*
Pregnancy hormones, getting used to being a new step-mom, getting used to living in a new place with new friends and new people, stress from work (what's new?), going thru a divorce, missing the SHIT out of my pets I had to leave with the EX, and other smaller but just as stressful day to day issues that everyone goes thru...this is a tough time for me.
But....it could be worse I suppose. I could be Paris Hilton *GASP*....poor girl. Must be tough being a Millionaire, skinny, and getting paid tons of money for her jail-time story. *faint*
Okay kiddos....let mommy think of new ways to abuse furniture in order to release some stress. At least until I find the Ultimate Stress Ball with a "press-button-to-find-under-the-couch" feature.
Go play with crazy strangers in their darkly tinted vans, kids....mommy loves ya.
Said By Nicole
Sunday, June 24, 2007
4:14 PM
The Technology God Has Struck Again!!
I love seeing the masses fight, claw, sign over their houses, and even agree to give up their firstborns for new toys and technology every year. These things usually happens around the holidays, but every now and then, you can find this same insanity other times of the year...
Like now...with the pending release of the iPhone.Images of normally "sane" adults fighting over the newest brand named item comes to mind when I think of this iPhone.
This image is not of iPhone nuts, but of some Christmas-time shoppers from years ago. What I find equally as humorous is how these same customers will complain non-stop about glitches once they get their blood-stained item home. "Awww man. This software on this thing is glitched!!!" This is why I sit back and wait for the "guinea pigs" to discover how crappy version 1.0 is before I shell out LESS money on the newer, more updated, glitch-free 2.0 version a year or so later. In the meantime...please....claw each others' eyeballs out for something new and shiny. I'll just sit here and watch in absolute glee and excitement. *My bet's on the 6'1" 350 pound woman standing in the back row*
Said By Nicole
Saturday, June 23, 2007
1:22 PM
Let Me Go Missing In Jail For A Million Dollars!
Missing: Large lake in southern Chile
SANTIAGO (Reuters) - A lake in southern Chile has mysteriously disappeared, prompting speculation the ground has simply opened up and swallowed it whole. Take It Away, Bob!
Why can't things like this happen to other places and situations in life? When I used to work in the worst place of my life, where was the hungry earth then? When I have a ton of pressure and stress, why can't there be an invisible blackhole to suck all my stress and frustrations away?
Why does Mother Earth decide to eat up a lake that wasn't causing anyone harm, but yet she ignores my former supervisor's house?
I really gotta have a woman to woman talk with this Mother Earth. Things need to change around here. LOL
In other news not even remotely related to me: Paris Hilton is to be released Tuesday. Of course, she has something to look forward to....another cool million in her bank account if she decides to "tell-all" to the Today Show.
Give me 23 days in jail with the promise of a million dollars for yapping to some coffee-addicted morning anchor once I'm released, and I'll do it in a heartbeat!!
Why can't I get some luck around here? *shrug*
Said By Nicole
Saturday, June 16, 2007
2:40 PM
Without The Past, There Would Be No Future....
Divorce is never an easy thing. Whether you're the one leaving or the one being "dumped", it's stressful, sad, and most of all...scary.
As a person who did the leaving, I can tell you, even though it was my decision to leave. I left not because he is a bad person. He never hit me, hardly ever raised his voice to me, was nothing but good and kind. I just fell out of love. It wasn't his fault...it wasn't my fault. Leaving him was hard because I knew I was ruining his life and causing him grief.
I don't regret my decision and I don't want to go back to him. I'm in love with Carlos and I am starting my new life. That doesn't mean I don't feel bad and upset hearing how much my soon-too-be ex husband is suffering.
We have remained friends and call each other a couple times a week or so. I hope things get much better for him soon. I hope nothing but best and I pray that he can be as happy as I am very soon.
He is thinking about making some very big changes in his life. From selling his house to moving back to the town we lived for so many years. He has a large support group of friends and family all trying to help him get through and I am one of them.
Sometimes I feel as if I should have given him more time before I left, but I don't think that would have been fair for me or Carlos and certainly wouldn't have made things easier for B.
As I tell all my friends and family who harp on the past: "Don't regret the past. Don't spend so much time wishing things would have gone differently. What's done is done and the best you can do is live in the present and plan for the future. Learn from past mistakes, but don't regret them because without those mistakes, you wouldn't be who you are today and who you will become in the future."
I told B that today when he got upset thinking about how things might be different had we; A. not moved. B. tried to mend our relationship when things started going bad. C. Got help the minute we noticed we couldn't mend it ourselves.
But....we can't change the past....
I wish him the best. I hope we can always be friends. And I hope there is a beautiful life in his future.
For those who do the dumping; I know how you feel.
For those who got dumped; Stay strong and know the universe is unfolding as it should. You will be stronger for this and you will become a better person for this. Don't grow bitter and don't regret the past. There is a solid and happy future in front of you. Grab it and don't let go.
Said By Nicole
Thursday, June 14, 2007
8:42 AM
My Bed Is Not Yours!
Something has to be said for everyone who told me that parenting would be the hardest job in the world. Especially when the parents both have a different view of how a child should be reared.
Another thing caught my attention: "We do our best parenting BEFORE we are parents."
Said by the one and only Judge Marilyn Milan on The People's Court.
These two things collided like a tornado hitting a trailer park this morning.
Let me start with Before Nicole Became a Step-Mom....
In those days I was pretty sure that I would allow my child to sleep with us in bed if they had a nightmare and couldn't get back to sleep. That's how my parents did it when I was young. Then when I fell asleep, my dad would carry me back to my own bed where I would slumber the remainder of the night.
BUT after I became a Step-Mom to a 6 year old son, I realized what a very baaad idea it is to allow a child into our marital bed.
My argument which is also backed up by the American Pediatric Society, is that children should learn how to not only fall asleep on their own, but also learn how to deal with fear and insomnia on their own as well. That is to say, instead of letting Little Junior crawl into bed between you and your mate, it is better for the child and for your marriage, to follow Junior to his own bed and soothe him, coddle him, and be there for him until he falls asleep. Then he sleeps in his own room and you sleep in yours.
Doing that prevents a lot of "security blanket" type attachment a child gets when allowed to sleep in bed with his parents.
But alas, Carlos does not agree. He's been allowing his son to sleep in his bed since he was a baby practically. His son is used to the routine. Have a nightmare=run to dad's bed.
In the meantime, I feel creepy and weirded-out having a six year old share the bed with us. The same bed Carlos and I use to have "adult-fun" every night. The same bed that I love stretching out and being comfortable in.
When the little guy sleeps with us, even if just for an hour or two, that bed becomes a FAMILY bed. And that makes me very uncomfortable.
One theory is that since he isn't my biological son and I just met him less than 6 months ago, it causes me to feel yucky and inappropriate sharing a bed with him. Maybe if he was my own son, or maybe if I knew him from the time he was 10 months old, my view would be different.
Since none of those things are reality, I can't help my feelings.
Of course, Carlos had to remind me that I planned on allowing my future kid(s) to share our bed if they were scared. But after this situation, I don't think I will. As a matter of fact, I'm sure I won't even allow my own children to do what his son does.
Soooooo this all brings me to this morning....
After biting my tongue, rolling my eyes, and dealing with the fact that a six year old was sleeping happily next to us in bed for the past couple weeks, I just couldn't stand it anymore.
Already tossing and turning from the hot-flashes I've been getting in the early mornings (thanks pregnancy god), and getting a little grumpy doing it, the LAST thing I needed was to deal emotionally and physically with little man crawling into bed with us.
5:30am and Little Man came into our bedroom and cuddled up next to his daddy. I jumped up, half dead with sleep, got my contacts in and logged into the internet where I've been since then. It is now 8:56am and I feel as though I'm about to fall into a coma....
But I don't regret it because I at least was able to for-go the creepy, unnerving, and annoyed feeling I would have felt had I stayed in bed with the two of them this morning.
Besides, I can always take a LONG nap later.....
Said By Nicole
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
5:07 PM
Muffin Top....definition: '(or muffin top girl) is a generally pejorative, slang term used for a person, usually female, whose flabby midsection spills over the waistline of his or her pants in a manner that resembles the top of a muffin spilling over its casing. " Okay so yeah that's a visual and a definition of the very thing I should know better than to immulate. Leave it to me to think being pregnant and putting on a Hooters Tank Top with tight blue jeans is cute. Lucky for me, I didn't have to leave the house today. Also lucky for me, Carlos found my "muffin top" to be cute and sexy. But still....I will admit here and now, in front of all of your curious eyes....that I fell victim to the Fashion Police's "Crime of the Century". I, dear readers, sported a muffin top. Yes, that does mean I was a Muffin Top Girl for a couple of hours today. I redeemed myself by changing into a more appropriate outfit for today: Tee shirt and jeans. I tell you, this pregnancy at this stage is frustrating. I am bigger than I was before but I'm not showing a full belly like pregnant women who are further along. Instead, I'm just chubby enough to look as if I just won't stop eating junk food all day. I can't wait to actually start to LOOK pregnant. Until that day, I won't break the serious Fashion Law and show my side and back fat where and when it's not appropriate...wait...is it EVER appropriate??
Said By Nicole
Saturday, June 9, 2007
1:22 PM
IHop Hops Into My Bad Side
At what point in a restaurant's life does customer service stop being important?
Carlos and I took Seth to Ihop for some brunch on the 7th. We had excellent service and the food was good.
I got the bill of $27.56 and since I didn't have cash on me, I decided to give the tip via CC.
At the register an older woman, who was VERY friendly and kind, had a lot of trouble reading the receipts. She would ask the customers to read off the Table # found on the piece of paper so that she could put it into the computer. She explained to me that the computer was easy to read since it was in florescent colors and the font was large.
That was the biggest red flag ever flown in front of my eyes, but alas, I ignore it as people tend to do.
She gave me my receipt and I wrote in $5.00 on the tip line and $32.56 in the Total line.
Okay let me stop the story here for a minute. Let's close our eyes and pretend it is June 7, 2007. We are standing in Ihop and we have just completed the receipt form for our credit card payment.
Me: Here ya go. *hands old lady the receipt*
Old Lady: Thank you dear!
Me: Did you process that $5 tip I wrote in?
Old Lady: Oh! I didn't see that. *nervous laugh* I warned ya I can't read these things. *waves receipt in the air*
Me: *laughs politely* It's okay! That's why I wanted to make sure you got it.
That's what shoulda "went down" that day, but again....that red flag was more invisible than Paris Hilton's three citations were to her. Poor Paris.
This is what ACTUALLY went down....
I left the restaurant after NOT verifying she entered the correct amount. That same day, I checked my bank balance online and noticed Ihop only charged me $27.56. I knew at this point, the tip was not taken care of.
I called Ihop immediately. The person answering tells me the manager is out and to call back the next day.
I call the next day (June 8th) and the person answering tells me the manager is out sick, "or something". So she advised me to call again the NEXT day.
I call today. Manager tells person on the phone to tell me to call her back in an hour.
I call back an hour and a half and no one answers the line....it's the MIDDLE OF THE FREAKIN' DAY!!
I call back again a few minutes later. Now their line gives me the annoying busy signal.
So here is my solution.....
I will get $5 in cash, drive to IHop, hand them my receipt and point me in the direction of the waitress that served us.
I will hand the waitress our tip, walk out of the place, then email their HQ to complain about the lack of customer service this franchise's manager has.
To Be Continued.....
Said By Nicole
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
8:07 PM
Aaaand...to add on to the post from earlier today...
I'm pregnant. I'm craving pizza like you wouldn't believe. I am moody, sensitive, and I cry about everything. Let's do the math, shall we?
Add to that the fact that I am flat broke until tomorrow (payday). Add another fact that NOT ONE pizza place in my area will accept checks. Add that I am also dangerously close to running out of gas so I can't drive to the store until I can get to a gas station tomorrow.
Mix all that around and you have a pregnant woman who is craving pizza with a box of blank checks, money coming into my bank account EARLY tomorrow morning, and no one willing to sell to her.
Equals: Crying off and on all night long...starting now.
I ate dinner, albeit, leftover pasta from lunch and that is NOT what I wanted or needed. As a matter of fact, just thinking about it causes me to gag.
I know I'm being irrational. I know I'm being impatient. But this is going to be a VERY VERY LONG 12 hours.
At least the weather tonight is matching my mood. It's pouring down rain and has been non-stop since this afternoon. Misery loves company so at least I'm not the only one shedding tears all night. Mother Nature must be in the same boat I'm in......poor lady.
Said By Nicole
4:41 PM
Kiss Me Oh Kissimmee!!
Kissimmee has just acquired two new residents. We moved in the 2nd and besides some big furniture such as a couch, tv, some wall decorations, we have everything all set. My computer desk from Office Depot just arrived today. That was fun times putting it together with Carlos. He's very smart!!! If not for him, I'd STILL be staring at the instructions, scratching my head and mumbling, "WTF is THAT thing and why do they want me to put it THERE??"
Since Carlos will be working from home now *WOOT!* I need to pay my CPA (that sounds bad) to dissolve my LLC in Jersey and open a new one here while adding Carlos as a "Managing Member" so that he can be contracted to work as I do.
Soooooooooo....that means we need to buy another computer monitor, desk, and chair. Luckily, Mr. Techie came packaged with TWO computers when I met him so the expensive part is already done.
So far I'm really diggin' the Kissimmee area! It's minutes from Disney World and all the fun fixin's like Epcot Center and Universal Studios. The citizens here seem really nice and for the most part, down to earth. And most of all, the cost of living is WAY cheaper than Miami!!!
I was able to buy almost every house necessity and toiletries from the Dollar Store. No freakin' kidding people. And I'm talkin' NAME BRAND shit too. $50 got me almost everything I needed from toilet paper to candles to a broom, mop, dustpan, and bucket. All I gotta say is, come payday, my first trip for shopping will be those Dollar Stores.
Overall, the move here was uneventful but tiring (I slept ALL day yesterday) and we are both VERY happy to be here.
Said By Nicole
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