Thursday, June 28, 2007
3:31 PM
PILLOWS BEWARE....SERIAL ABUSER ON THE LOOSE!!!
Stress is so much that sometimes I feel like I wanna scream at the top of my lungs. I'm not really one to whine and moan in my blogs...okay...I just totally lied there. BUT, there has to be better ways to deal with stress besides threatening to feed myself to the nearest alligator. That joke really works well here in Florida...kinda bombed in other places I've lived (Kansas, New Jersey, England, ect).
Telling me to take a warm bath just leads me to think of ways to drown myself. And yes, I realize no one has actually succeeded in drowning themselves in a bathtub without the help of another person or medications (sleeping pills).
Advising me to take deep breaths and release them slowly brings to mind ideas of maybe holding my breath so long that I pass out just to be able to "sleep" through the stress and frustrations. Again, that wouldn't be smart if I'm standing up while doing this since I'm sure my head would crack on the edge of my desk or God Forbid, the tiled kitchen.
Those of you who feel I really need a vacation to get away from it all...ummm...have you seen my checking account?? Well in case you haven't had a chance to hack into it yet...I have just enough money for bills and no more. Explaining to my landlord and the electricity company that my sanity is more important than the money I owe them probably won't go over too well. At that point, a permanent trip to Mexico or Canada once they threaten to send Luigi the Knee Breaker to my home for owing them money, would be more along the lines of the only vacation I can get at this time.
So what's left....I could buy a stress ball and squeeze the hell out of it until my fingers bleed, but that would only help for cruical moments. Besides, I've lost so many of those over the years, it's more stress trying to find the damned thing everyday.
My tried and true plan of burying my head into a pillow and screaming until my vocal cords get hoarse isn't realistic when I have a 6 year old living here who already thinks I'm off my rocker. Don't want the poor kid to have nightmares of seeing me screaming bloody murder into a poor, innocent pillow.
The same goes for my favorite stress-buster of punching same pillow between bouts of screaming into it. I swear, if there was a law against abusing a pillow, I would be getting arrested every few weeks. I bet my mug shot would look pretty scary too. Hair all sticking out to and fro, dried tears streaking my cheeks, lips puffing from burying my face hard into the pillow, fists pink from all the punching, and worse yet, the anger in my face because once again that damned pillow made it to the phone before I was able to pull it back for more beatings.
Either way, abusing my pillow is not something I can do now either. Not that I'm afraid of being arrested for domestic pillow violence.....
Guess that leaves me with one last thing....bitching, moaning, complaining, and ranting on this blog. If I can't do it here...where can I? *eyes my cell phone*
Pregnancy hormones, getting used to being a new step-mom, getting used to living in a new place with new friends and new people, stress from work (what's new?), going thru a divorce, missing the SHIT out of my pets I had to leave with the EX, and other smaller but just as stressful day to day issues that everyone goes thru...this is a tough time for me.
But....it could be worse I suppose. I could be Paris Hilton *GASP*....poor girl. Must be tough being a Millionaire, skinny, and getting paid tons of money for her jail-time story. *faint*
Okay kiddos....let mommy think of new ways to abuse furniture in order to release some stress. At least until I find the Ultimate Stress Ball with a "press-button-to-find-under-the-couch" feature.
Go play with crazy strangers in their darkly tinted vans, kids....mommy loves ya.
Said By Nicole
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