Saturday, June 16, 2007
2:40 PM
Without The Past, There Would Be No Future....
Divorce is never an easy thing. Whether you're the one leaving or the one being "dumped", it's stressful, sad, and most of all...scary.
As a person who did the leaving, I can tell you, even though it was my decision to leave. I left not because he is a bad person. He never hit me, hardly ever raised his voice to me, was nothing but good and kind. I just fell out of love. It wasn't his fault...it wasn't my fault. Leaving him was hard because I knew I was ruining his life and causing him grief.
I don't regret my decision and I don't want to go back to him. I'm in love with Carlos and I am starting my new life. That doesn't mean I don't feel bad and upset hearing how much my soon-too-be ex husband is suffering.
We have remained friends and call each other a couple times a week or so. I hope things get much better for him soon. I hope nothing but best and I pray that he can be as happy as I am very soon.
He is thinking about making some very big changes in his life. From selling his house to moving back to the town we lived for so many years. He has a large support group of friends and family all trying to help him get through and I am one of them.
Sometimes I feel as if I should have given him more time before I left, but I don't think that would have been fair for me or Carlos and certainly wouldn't have made things easier for B.
As I tell all my friends and family who harp on the past: "Don't regret the past. Don't spend so much time wishing things would have gone differently. What's done is done and the best you can do is live in the present and plan for the future. Learn from past mistakes, but don't regret them because without those mistakes, you wouldn't be who you are today and who you will become in the future."
I told B that today when he got upset thinking about how things might be different had we; A. not moved. B. tried to mend our relationship when things started going bad. C. Got help the minute we noticed we couldn't mend it ourselves.
But....we can't change the past....
I wish him the best. I hope we can always be friends. And I hope there is a beautiful life in his future.
For those who do the dumping; I know how you feel.
For those who got dumped; Stay strong and know the universe is unfolding as it should. You will be stronger for this and you will become a better person for this. Don't grow bitter and don't regret the past. There is a solid and happy future in front of you. Grab it and don't let go.
Said By Nicole
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